Debut memoir ‘Not Me’ is an impish and poetic exploration of trauma, not just painfully but viscerally, brutally honest. Available as paperback, audiobook (read by author), and ebook from the store.

➔ ABOUT

Marianne left her home in Tucson, Arizona…

French-born Tucson chanteuse Marianne Dissard recorded and toured worldwide with members of alt-Americana bands Calexico and Giant Sand. Her desert noir chanson plays effortlessly with contradictions. Tender, yet abrasive. Melodramatic, but vulnerable. Comical and heartbreaking.

Equally so her first book, 'Not Me', an impish and poetic exploration of trauma and the life of a (disordered) touring musician, praised by three of Dissard's favorite authors: Mitch Cullin ('Tideland'), Chris Rush (‘The Light Years’) and Andrew Smith ('Moondust'). With a cover design by noted British designer Jamie Keenan, ‘Not Me’ is a courageous book of unflinching compassion,

Of universal interest, Dissard's "often improbably funny memoir” (Andrew Smith), "not just painfully but viscerally, brutally honest” (John Parish), will speak to anyone who has ever struggled to maintain physical and psychological well-being.

'Not Me' is now available in a deluxe paperback edition through the author’s website, and as audiobook (read by the author) and ebook.

Disordered, alone...

For years, Dissard orchestrated her public life as a performer around her private disordered world. In 2013, at the end of her rope, she flees her hometown of Tucson, Arizona to seek solace back in Europe, a continent she’d left at age sixteen. In Paris, Dissard latches on to an intensive yoga teacher training to turn her life around.

‘Of course, I was scared when I realized I would be speaking my truth after decades of keeping it freakishly hidden or, at best, cryptically whispered in my song lyrics—in French, for more opacity', says Dissard.

‘Not Me’ is the account of a year spent away from the stage in an attempt to reboot a life plagued by eating disorders. Invited to teach, Dissard grabs the chance to learn. Focusing on her students, opening up to friendships, she gradually finds her way back to health and connections… and a wooden boat in England.

‘I kept a journal of what I desperately needed to be a momentous year. These entries would form the basis of a book about my life, all these years I wasted in exile from myself. I don't prettify my truth. You have to face the music at some point.'

Now in the UK, Dissard is currently at work from the Ramsgate harbour on her fourth album.

➔ PRAISE

“Marianne Dissard is that rare sort of talent: a literary chanteuse who renders the whole world with keen observations, wit, and pathos.”

Mitch Cullin, A Slight Trick of the Mind and Tideland

“Not just painfully honest, but viscerally, brutally honest - a struggle for survival, and ultimately self-acceptance.”

John Parish, Let England Shake and How Animals Move

“Survival has always been billed as heroic, but you show us that survival - the difficult and secret task - is in how one faces the mundane: eating alone, living alone, talking to one's self. That's the power here.”

Chris Rush, The Light Years

“Often improbably funny, too, Not Me is without doubt one of the best books I've read this year.”

Andrew Smith, Moondust and Totally Wired